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My October 7th Post
When George Floyd happened, a very wise friend said (not just to me), “It’s not your job to watch the news. Don’t watch things that will upset you unless there’s a good reason, you need the information, you’re going to do something with what you learn or see.” And she was right.
I didn’t post on Facebook about it. I knew a horrible thing happened and we needed to improve our systems, but I wasn’t going to take to the streets. I had enough on my plate. I may have lost friends over it, in some “if you don’t post about this, we’re not friends” thing. Who knows? Facebook doesn’t really work for me, so I just check it once in a while to see if my husband’s ex-wife posted about the kids or my husband said something funny.
When the war in Ukraine started, I should have listened better. I spent 2 days glued to the news and when it became clear this would take longer, I tried to avoid news report about the atrocities. I was happy when things went well for the Ukrainians and donated to the Ukrainian causes our kids’ school suggested. (They are Georgian and had Ukrainian employees, so I figured they’d know.) I didn’t post on Facebook.
When October 7th happened, I was horrified. But I also didn’t expect much from the rest of the world. We were working with a recently acquired Israeli startup, so during my next meeting with my (African American) boss, I gently suggested we be a little sensitive with them. I said I didn’t know if he’d seen the news. He was like, “What? Duh!” As a Jew, I’ve gotten used to the idea that the world does not always see or report our suffering.
I tried, but really didn’t succeed in staying away from the gruesome coverage. It was harder, because my Jewish friends, including my wise friend, kept saying, “Did you hear about?” My best friend, a new convert, insisted on watching, saying she had to bear witness, even when I pointed out that she has chronic illness and also what does this help? She said, “It’s different, you’ve been through this before,” and I explained, no, this is unprecedentedly awful.
I didn’t post to Facebook. My wise friend’s husband posted the loyalty post on Facebook. They still talk to me though.
I did get angry about the “Free Palestine” bullshit, especially in my neighborhood, and it’s probably for the best that I rarely encountered people carrying flags from a protest. I could go on, but it would make my blood boil.
About 2 weeks ago, i.e. before we found out what happened to the Bibas family, I made a casual remark in front of a non-Jewish friend and he said, “There’s bad people on both sides.” I let it slide, but after they returned the babies’ bodies, I’m finally done. I know there are plenty of bad Israelis, especially the politicians, but no one ever can point to a situation where Jews celebrated the death, let alone mutilation, of innocent children.
My husband was surprised when I said, “I’m done,” saying, yeah, I was done on October 8, 2023. I feel guilty for not being more vocal. I feel guilty for letting that remark slide. It’s eating me up inside and I thought about saying something, but by now it would sound like picking a fight. I feel guilty for the intergenerational trauma that makes my lizard-brain freak out whenever anyone does something to indicate they are Jewish.
Also, I was doing really well for a few weeks and then this happened and my mental health (and productivity) have been shit for 2 weeks. I don’t know how to fix this, but I’m hoping posting about it will help.
I didn’t post on Facebook about it. I knew a horrible thing happened and we needed to improve our systems, but I wasn’t going to take to the streets. I had enough on my plate. I may have lost friends over it, in some “if you don’t post about this, we’re not friends” thing. Who knows? Facebook doesn’t really work for me, so I just check it once in a while to see if my husband’s ex-wife posted about the kids or my husband said something funny.
When the war in Ukraine started, I should have listened better. I spent 2 days glued to the news and when it became clear this would take longer, I tried to avoid news report about the atrocities. I was happy when things went well for the Ukrainians and donated to the Ukrainian causes our kids’ school suggested. (They are Georgian and had Ukrainian employees, so I figured they’d know.) I didn’t post on Facebook.
When October 7th happened, I was horrified. But I also didn’t expect much from the rest of the world. We were working with a recently acquired Israeli startup, so during my next meeting with my (African American) boss, I gently suggested we be a little sensitive with them. I said I didn’t know if he’d seen the news. He was like, “What? Duh!” As a Jew, I’ve gotten used to the idea that the world does not always see or report our suffering.
I tried, but really didn’t succeed in staying away from the gruesome coverage. It was harder, because my Jewish friends, including my wise friend, kept saying, “Did you hear about?” My best friend, a new convert, insisted on watching, saying she had to bear witness, even when I pointed out that she has chronic illness and also what does this help? She said, “It’s different, you’ve been through this before,” and I explained, no, this is unprecedentedly awful.
I didn’t post to Facebook. My wise friend’s husband posted the loyalty post on Facebook. They still talk to me though.
I did get angry about the “Free Palestine” bullshit, especially in my neighborhood, and it’s probably for the best that I rarely encountered people carrying flags from a protest. I could go on, but it would make my blood boil.
About 2 weeks ago, i.e. before we found out what happened to the Bibas family, I made a casual remark in front of a non-Jewish friend and he said, “There’s bad people on both sides.” I let it slide, but after they returned the babies’ bodies, I’m finally done. I know there are plenty of bad Israelis, especially the politicians, but no one ever can point to a situation where Jews celebrated the death, let alone mutilation, of innocent children.
My husband was surprised when I said, “I’m done,” saying, yeah, I was done on October 8, 2023. I feel guilty for not being more vocal. I feel guilty for letting that remark slide. It’s eating me up inside and I thought about saying something, but by now it would sound like picking a fight. I feel guilty for the intergenerational trauma that makes my lizard-brain freak out whenever anyone does something to indicate they are Jewish.
Also, I was doing really well for a few weeks and then this happened and my mental health (and productivity) have been shit for 2 weeks. I don’t know how to fix this, but I’m hoping posting about it will help.